Learning to be with people

The Virginia Massacre has sent shock waves throughout the world. The killer has been described as a loner and disconnected from others. Do we dismiss him as crazy? How many others are close to doing something as tragic as this? What if this happened at our university, NMMU? Would this have happened if the killer belonged to a community, if he felt valued, respected, heard?

Remember the 80’s TV series “Cheers”? Most of us still love the theme song:
Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.

Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go Where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad you came. You wanna be where you can see, our troubles are all the same

You wanna be where everybody knows Your name.

What a great theme song for churches!

How do we create a place like Cheers, if a place like Cheers would help prevent tragedies such as these? Mark Yaconelli suggests how we can be with people. He writes “We have to share not only the teachings of Jesus but more importantly the presence of Jesus. What does it mean to be present? To be present is to be awake to the Mystery of God within each moment.”

Here are 5 ways we can be with people:
See
Richard Rohr writes that transformation in the spiritual life is about seeing.
We love people by seeing them as they are, not as the culture judges them to be. As we read the Gospels it’s clear that people felt seen by Jesus. When we try to be present to people, we seek to see them through the eyes of love. When was the last time you tried to look at someone with the eyes of God? When was the last time someone felt seen by you?

Hear
To be contemplatively present to people also means to listen. It means opening our ears to the words and feelings people speak. How many people are crying out: please listen to what I’m not saying? Listen to them in the same way we yearn to be listened to. Listen to them with the patient ears of Jesus.

Moved to Compassion
When we take the time to see and hear people, often we find compassion rising within us. When we see with the eyes of Jesus and hear with the ears of Jesus, we soon find ourselves feeling with the heart of Jesus. When we seek to be present to people, we let down the walls of our heart and allow ourselves to be moved by them. When was the last time you were moved by a person’s situation? When was the last time you felt joy or pain in empathy with someone else?

Acts of Kindness
When we allow ourselves to be moved by the experience of people, it’s only natural to respond with acts of kindness. Acts of kindness are moments in which we embody the love of God. Kindness often takes place in small, hidden acts. We see these small acts of kindness in Jesus:
making wine for a wedding party, giving bread and fish to a hungry crowd,
cleaning the feet of the disciples, preparing breakfast on the beach for his friends. What actions can you do that would reveal the kindness of Jesus?

Delight
There may be nothing more pleasurable, more nurturing, and more healing than being in the presence of someone who genuinely delights in you. How can we embody a sense of delight in a person’s presence in the world – even in the midst of suffering or great brokenness?

May we learn to share the presence of Jesus …
Because when people are seen, they feel valued.
When they are heard, they feel respected.
When someone is moved by their situation, they feel loved.
When they receive kindness, they feel cared for.
And when others delight in their existence, they sense the very breath of God.